Year to Best: Act #21 - Pay It Forward

I'm not sure if "paying it forward" is a good term for something I've been practicing lately, but it's similar.  When considering emotional well-being, I noticed that people (me included) sometimes have a tendency to base our decisions on what we're "owed" or what others have done for us.  For example, I recently had a discussion about someone who simply did not want to help with another person's bridal showers because that friend hadn't helped with her own. Some part of me understands this mentality.

On the other hand, when I really consider it, this type of thinking leads to a vicious circle of always measuring what others do for us, and always tempering our giving based on what we think they deserve.  If we are deciding what they deserve, in a way, we're judging them.  And besides, we aren't seeing the full picture and taking into account what may have caused them to behave a certain way.  Maybe they were also considering our past inconsiderate moments. Maybe they were having a tough time at home, or at work.

The point is, this type of "what they deserve" philosophy doesn't really work. Does giving freely with no regard to others' behaviors work?  Not exactly - sometimes people are simply selfish and will take advantage.  Balance is necessary.

At any rate, I decided several weeks back that I needed to practice being happy for others and giving from my heart based on what felt good, instead of on what others have done for me in the past. To give for love, instead of to give to get something back. 

Am I really good at it yet?  Maybe not, it's a change, and my protective mechanisms try to kick in sometimes.  But I'm working on it.  And those moments of giving love just to give it end up making me feel better than I did before anyway...so who is this really benefiting?  I think it might be contributing more to my own well-being than that of the receivers of the love!  Worth the effort?  Definitely.