Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Year to Best: Act #27 - Understand the Roots

My holiday season has been lovely so far.  I have enjoyed time with friends and family.  I have been able to share some gifts with people I love...gifts that (I hope) will improve their experience of life this coming year.  

But in the quiet spaces of this season, I have been considering the roots of what we celebrate.  I already knew that many of our holiday traditions pre-dated any religious attachments to this season.  As I pondered it, someone shared this article that explained exactly what I was thinking.  (It's located via the link, but I am also posting the text.)

http://www.livescience.com/25779-christmas-traditions-history-paganism.html

"When you gather around the Christmas tree or stuff goodies into a stocking, you're taking part in traditions that stretch back thousands of years — long before Christianity entered the mix.  Pagan, or non-Christian, traditions show up in this beloved winter holiday, a consequence of early church leaders melding Jesus' nativity celebration with pre-existing midwinter festivals. Since then, Christmas traditions have warped over time, arriving at their current state a little more than a century ago.  Read on for some of the surprising origins of Christmas cheer, and find out why Christmas was once banned in New England. 

1. Early Christians had a soft spot for pagans
It's a mistake to say that our modern Christmas traditions come directly from pre-Christian paganism, said Ronald Hutton, a historian at Bristol University in the United Kingdom. However, he said, you'd be equally wrong to believe that Christmas is a modern phenomenon. As Christians spread their religion into Europe in the first centuries A.D., they ran into people living by a variety of local and regional religious creeds.
Christian missionaries lumped all of these people together under the umbrella term "pagan," said Philip Shaw, who researches early Germanic languages and Old English at Leicester University in the U.K. The term is related to the Latin word meaning "field," Shaw told LiveScience. The lingual link makes sense, he said, because early European Christianity was an urban phenomenon, while paganism persisted longer in rustic areas.  Early Christians wanted to convert pagans, Shaw said, but they were also fascinated by their traditions. "Christians of that period are quite interested in paganism," he said. "It's obviously something they think is a bad thing, but it's also something they think is worth remembering. It's what their ancestors did."

Perhaps that's why pagan traditions remained even as Christianity took hold. The Christmas tree is a 17th-century German invention, University of Bristol's Hutton told LiveScience, but it clearly derives from the pagan practice of bringing greenery indoors to decorate in midwinter. The modern Santa Claus is a direct descendent of England's Father Christmas, who was not originally a gift-giver. However, Father Christmas and his other European variations are modern incarnations of old pagan ideas about spirits who traveled the sky in midwinter, Hutton said.

2. We all want that warm Christmas glow
But why this fixation on partying in midwinter, anyway? According to historians, it's a natural time for a feast. In an agricultural society, the harvest work is done for the year, and there's nothing left to be done in the fields. "It's a time when you have some time to devote to your religious life," said Shaw. "But also it's a period when, frankly, everyone needs cheering up." The dark days that culminate with the shortest day of the year ­— the winter solstice — could be lightened with feasts and decorations, Hutton said.  "If you happen to live in a region in which midwinter brings striking darkness and cold and hunger, then the urge to have a celebration at the very heart of it to avoid going mad or falling into deep depression is very, very strong," he said.
Stephen Nissenbaum, author of the Pulitzer Prize finalist "The Battle for Christmas", agreed.  "Even now when solstice means not all that much because you can get rid of the darkness with the flick of an electric light switch, even now, it's a very powerful season," he told LIveScience.
 
3. The Church was slow to embrace Christmas
Despite the spread of Christianity, midwinter festivals did not become Christmas for hundreds of years. The Bible gives no reference to when Jesus was born, which wasn't a problem for early Christians, Nissenbaum said.  "It never occurred to them that they needed to celebrate his birthday," he said. With no Biblical directive to do so and no mention in the Gospels of the correct date, it wasn't until the fourth century that church leaders in Rome embraced the holiday. At this time, Nissenbaum said, many people had turned to a belief the Church found heretical: That Jesus had never existed as a man, but as a sort of spiritual entity.
"If you want to show that Jesus was a real human being just like every other human being, not just somebody who appeared like a hologram, then what better way to think of him being born in a normal, humble human way than to celebrate his birth?" Nissenbaum said. Midwinter festivals, with their pagan roots, were already widely celebrated, Nissenbaum said. And the date had a pleasing philosophical fit with festivals celebrating the lengthening days after the winter solstice (which fell on Dec. 21 this year). "O, how wonderfully acted Providence that on that day on which that Sun was born … Christ should be born," one Cyprian text read.
 
4. The Puritans hated the holiday
But if the Catholic Church gradually came to embrace Christmas, the Protestant Reformation gave the holiday a good knock on the chin. In the 16th century, Christmas became a casualty of this church schism, with reformist-minded Protestants considering it little better than paganism, Nissenbaum said. This likely had something to do with the "raucous, rowdy and sometimes bawdy fashion" in which Christmas was celebrated, he added. In England under Oliver Cromwell, Christmas and other saints' days were banned, and in New England it was illegal to celebrate Christmas for about 25 years in the 1600s, Nissenbaum said. Forget people saying, "Happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas," he said. "If you want to look at a real 'War on Christmas,' you've got to look at the Puritans," he said. "They banned it!"
 
5. Gifts are a new (and surprisingly controversial) tradition
While gift-giving may seem inextricably tied to Christmas, it used to be that people looked forward to opening presents on New Year's Day. "They were a blessing for people to make them feel good as the year ends," Hutton said. It wasn't until the Victorian era of the 1800s that gift-giving shifted to Christmas. According to the Royal Collection, Queen Victoria's children got Christmas Eve gifts in 1850, including a sword and armor. In 1841, Victoria gave her husband, Prince Albert, a miniature portrait of her as a 7-year-old; in 1859, she gave him a book of poetry by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. All of this gift-giving, along with the secular embrace of Christmas, now has some religious groups steamed, Nissenbaum said. The consumerism of Christmas shopping seems, to some, to contradict the religious goal of celebrating Jesus Christ's birth. In some ways, Nissenbaum said, excessive spending is the modern equivalent of the revelry and drunkenness that made the Puritans frown. "There's always been a push and pull, and it's taken different forms," he said. "It might have been alcohol then, and now it's these glittering toys."


After all these thoughts and some other readings on the topic, I decided there were true Yule/Winter Solstice traditions that I really enjoy.  The tree and other evergreens bring greenery and life into the home to be celebrated during a time that seems dark and cold.  While gifts were never really an addition until later times, I enjoy letting people know I value and love them with a thoughtful gift for the year to come.  Because the Winter Solstice occurs on the shortest day/longest night of the year, the next morning can be greeted with optimism and the knowledge that the days will now become longer, with more sunlight.  It is a great time to meditate on renewal, care for others, and the year to come.  Even minus the traditions that have been added through the years, these are all beautiful things to observe each year!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Healthy is the New Skinny.

Random thoughts on body shapes and body image...

During the past few years, I've noticed a definite shift in body image perceptions and what men and women find attractive.  For women, skinny is out.  Healthy is in.  People seem to be accepting that everyone's body shapes are simply different.  My healthy body may be curvy (and it is), yours might be straight.  I think the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty hit the nail on the head, showing women who are every size and shape loving their own bodies.  I don't personally know any women who simply want to be skinny now.  That seems to only be in style for models...and who even knows why?!  I love that men are noticing when women are far too slim and not finding it attractive.  It is allowing us (ladies) to feel beautiful regardless of size or shape.  I work out most days of the week.  I have hips.  I will always have them.  I could run miles each day and that's simply my body shape.  And that's OK.  :)

The same goes for men, I think.  I've had multiple discussions lately in which women have mentioned their attraction to HEALTHY men, but not BULKY men.  Sure, there are some exceptions, some women who like the body-builder physique. But most of my friends find that large-ness unnatural and not very attractive.  There is more focus on appreciating a man's natural body shape as well.  As long as he's healthy, we don't need men to look like they have to spend hours in the gym or get 'roided out to get "big".  It's simply not so attractive.

As a side note, the only time I tend to wish for another body shape is when I really love some fashionable item of clothing and it's simply made for someone straight and tall.  It's not a big deal, because there are SO many apparel options out there now for women of all shapes and sizes...trying to wear something shaped for a model-body will simply make me look silly instead of fashionable.  At the same time, I really wish there were high-end designers out there who held runway shows without the size 00 starved-looking models.  Show me clothing on women of various shapes and sizes.  Model those Victoria's Secret underwear on ladies shaped like those who actually buy it.  Show me how anybody of any size/shape can look amazingly in-style.  If someone would do that, I swear they'd have a giant following.  Maybe some designer does this and I'm not aware...but it's definitely needed.

Random thoughts over.   For now.


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Year to Best: Act #26 - Learn the small lessons...

Part of this beautiful year to my best has been simply taking time to breathe in the small lessons, to let them sink in.  These are random thoughts that have made my last month meaningful.

Be a kid.
It's easy to get caught up in being a grown-up.  We have things to do, bills to pay, people to see.  Sometimes it is amazing to step back and see the joy children have over the small things.  Tomorrow doesn't matter.  Today is amazing.  It's fun to jump, and yell, and show joy for the sake of joy. I am lucky enough to have friends around me with children so I can love their kid-ness infinitely!

Be interested.
This is not something I have much trouble with, honestly.  Just about everything interests me.  But sometimes we don't ask all the questions we'd like for fear of looking silly or ignorant.  Every new person I meet is like a new door opening to a world of information.  Some of them must think my sudden interest in their lives, homes, and jobs are strange.  I can't help it.  I am curious.  Getting answers to the most random of questions is like lightbulb moment after lightbulb moment.  So in my efforts to keep being interested, I will keep asking questions.  You have all been warned.

Allow yourself to have joy about the little things.
Like new socks.
And freshly-washed bedsheets.
And warm cookies.
And matching pajama sets.
ALL SO EXCITING!

Give.  It feels good.
I always want to volunteer or give to good causes, but I get bogged down in all the details.  Who should I choose to donate to?  Where should I volunteer?  There are too many options.  How can I be most effective?  Will they use my money well?  Will it make any difference? On, and on, and on.  Maybe I should take a note from Jim Carrey in "Yes Man" and just start saying yes when the opportunity to give is presented to me.  When Hurricane Sandy hit the northeast, my office had a chance to donate money to the Red Cross for relief.  We did.  Some of my book club friends were able to donate blood, so they did.  My office has the chance to help an Atlanta organization feed the hungry for Thanksgiving, help a family in need experience Christmas, and deliver meals to elderly and disabled people.  So, we just said yes.  Do I know that it will all be terrific?  Nope.  Am I glad we're willing to give?  Yep.

Let things sink into your heart.
I read a lot.  Every day.  I read quickly, and sometimes I don't let things sink in.  So sometimes it's nice to switch to poetry or something that makes me spend more time with words and ideas.  I saw a quote from Rumi that made my heart swell, and I've been meditating on it for probably two weeks now.
"Set your life on fire.
Seek those who fan your flames."
The simplicity of this stuns me. The power of it stuns me.  And every day, I wonder if I am setting my life on fire.  And if I am surrounding myself with people who fan those flames and make me stronger.  The more I meditate on it, the more it becomes real.  It takes time to let this sort of idea sink into me, become internal...so I know I have to be patient.  Give it time.

Do things you're bad at.  So you get less bad.
I am not a good painter.  I don't know how to ballroom dance.
But I will keep doing both.  And I will improve!

That's a lot of little lessons for one month...

 

 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Year to Best: Act #25 - Face a Truth About Myself

I am a Gemini.  I can't put it better than this, so I quote from a website:
"Gemini go everywhere together, hand-in-hand, symbolizing your dual nature. Our world comes in pairs: good and evil, male and female, in and out, yin and yang -- and you Geminis are living proof. Some might say Gemini are an entanglement of paradoxes, but the truth is that Gemini have an easy acceptance of opposites. Gemini world is one of duality. Gemini can like this and that, one thing and its opposite. It's like you see your world through a radio and Gemini can tune experiences and points of view in and out as your interests change."

This occasionally creates some confusion, even within myself.  It is possible that I may be a MEGA-Gemini, with more than just two natures, really.  In the past, I have disliked this about myself.  I could be entirely into a certain idea, item, or style one day, and two days later, completely love its opposite.  Confusing.  I think I've just recently come to terms with this, and accepted it.

So, I confess...my moods can change.  I don't have a personal style.  Some days I enjoy dressing elegantly, other days I don't want to leave my yoga clothes. Some days I feel like wearing glasses, plaid, and my Converse, others I want to wear skirts and heels.  There is no science to it.  Some days I want nothing to do with TV, preferring to read or write.  Other days, I love to veg out with some Fashion Police or TV dramas.  My musical tastes vary so wildly that they don't even seem to make sense...I may love classical and jazz today, pop and R&B tomorrow, and musical soundtracks the next.  I am not mainstream, but I am mainstream.  Sometimes people think I am "cool", other times they think I'm weird.  I like to buy healthy, organic food to cook, but I also love a Steak 'n Shake burger.  Sometimes I need to get out and be social, and sometimes I need to simply be alone.

Common sense says that a lot of people could be like me...but most of my friends do have a norm.  I sometimes envy their strong convictions that do not waver, their strong sense of personal style, their solid routines.  I know my varying-ness is taken to a strange level sometimes.  Occasionally, it makes me wonder (not in a pitiful way, but in a "wow" way) how people can love me if they never know what to expect from me?  Does that confuse the people in my life?  Do they see me as shallow and never-settled, instead of simply dual-natured?  

I'm really not sure.  The wonderful thing about my personal Air sign is that while I may be dual-natured and in the air often, there is always a solid ground below me of people I really love...people I know will love me even as I move from one idea to the next in a matter of days.  If they love me, I know they will boost me and enjoy my flight, never trying to tether or ground me (without very good reason, at least).  In a way, these people are (MAJOR CHEESEBALL MOMENT...) "the wind beneath my wings"!  Yeah, I just went there.

This is progress for me.  Learning, accepting, loving myself just as I am, which allows me to love others better.  Progress.  It's good.

Year to Best: Act #24 - Try Something New

I am (hopefully) trying lots of new things during this year to being my absolute best...the most recent new-ish fun was zip-lining with my office mates!  We typically have a summer outing each year, but it's just so HOT here.  This year we had a spring picnic and a fall outing instead...much more comfortable.  

Banning Mills is maybe an hour from Atlanta, and the autumn foliage was beautiful.  We only did Level 1 zip-lining, and now I definitely want to go back and do all the levels.  It's a pretty great rush to be up in the trees (or above them), zipping along at high speeds.  Totally worth the drive out there!  Glad I added it to this year....

 

Year to Best: Act #23 - Go out!

I am 29.  That is not old.  In the grand scheme of life, I am still very young.  And yet, sometimes I live like I'm 65 - in bed by 10 with a book. I admit I enjoy the early bedtime, but occasionally it's nice to get out and be young.  Go wherever friends lead me.  Have drinks.  Stay out late.  Make friends.  

So when my sister came into town a couple of weekends ago and wanted to go out, I went. It happened to be PRIDE weekend in Atlanta, so lots of people were out with us.  We met up with friends for margaritas before heading to an Atlanta institution (Joe's on Juniper).  And guess what?  (I bet you guessed right.)  It was a mega-fun evening. We got to see friends, make new friends, and generally enjoy our evening for no good reason other than to enjoy it.  Be happy to be happy.  It was a simple, but effective, reminder for me that sometimes I just need to suck it up, shave my legs, and go out.  Here's to remembering that.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Year to Best: Act #22 - Oh, The Places I Go

I love to travel.  I especially love to travel somewhere NEW.  Perhaps it's my personality, or perhaps it's a generational thing, but the world feels like my playground.  Most any location seems easily open to exploration and experience, and I can think of very few places I wouldn't like to see at least once.

I know lots of people feel this way, but sometimes life gets in the way.  Money needs to be spent on home, cars, kids, life.  C'est la vie.  

But this year, I knew I was feeling stagnant and needed to get back to traveling and experiencing new places.  I committed to saving the funds.  I decided that I'd go alone if that worked out best, and this time, that was the best plan.  I booked my tour.  I was totally excited.

And my excitement was merited - I had a fabulous trip.  Spain had been calling my name for quite a few years.  I had no idea why.  I was able to see some of the big Spanish cities, and some of the small ones as well.  The big plus was that I also got to visit Portugal...and it turns out, I think I like Portugal better than Spain!  It's not quite as showy, but the people are nice, they speak better English, food is delish, towns are lovely.  I would certainly go back.

The major interesting things in Spain are (to me):
1. The amazing history
2. The unique culture

In terms of history, they have dated settlements in Spain back to the Neolithic age (we're talking cave paintings here!), through the Roman empire, Visigoths, Catholic conquerors, Medieval period, and so many other eras.  To be in places with that much old energy is strange and beautiful.

And as for culture...well, the Spanish might be the most laid-back people I've ever seen.  They are boisterous and social.  They seem more physically affectionate and emotional and romantic than Americans, in general.  They eat outside more often than they eat inside, so most every restaurant has patio seating.  They take their time.  They really do observe siesta time, when everything closes for a couple of hours in the afternoon.  They don't believe in very expensive wine, because even good wines have low prices there.  Are there negatives to this?  Sure - restaurant service can be slow, and evenings can be loud on busy streets.  People might not be as motivated or ambitious (I'm really not sure, that's only a guess). Regardless, it's a lovely culture, with some great towns - especially for retirement!

One other note - some people prefer to visit a new country and simply explore on their own.  I typically prefer to maximize my time and money and travel with a tour group.  Cosmos was the company I used, and it was pretty terrific.  Once booked, I didn't have to worry about airfare, hotels, transportation, entrance fees to some of the sites, and about half my meals - all taken care of.  Being on the tour also meant the chance to meet new people and a great guide to answer questions and help with the occasional translation and provide good tips/directions.  It turned out great, and I will likely travel with them again on one of their many trips.

So, did this trip contribute to my overall well-being?  Absolutely, in many ways, but mostly mental and emotional, for sure.  Well worth it!  Next time, maybe some of you can join me?


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Year to Best: Act #21 - Pay It Forward

I'm not sure if "paying it forward" is a good term for something I've been practicing lately, but it's similar.  When considering emotional well-being, I noticed that people (me included) sometimes have a tendency to base our decisions on what we're "owed" or what others have done for us.  For example, I recently had a discussion about someone who simply did not want to help with another person's bridal showers because that friend hadn't helped with her own. Some part of me understands this mentality.

On the other hand, when I really consider it, this type of thinking leads to a vicious circle of always measuring what others do for us, and always tempering our giving based on what we think they deserve.  If we are deciding what they deserve, in a way, we're judging them.  And besides, we aren't seeing the full picture and taking into account what may have caused them to behave a certain way.  Maybe they were also considering our past inconsiderate moments. Maybe they were having a tough time at home, or at work.

The point is, this type of "what they deserve" philosophy doesn't really work. Does giving freely with no regard to others' behaviors work?  Not exactly - sometimes people are simply selfish and will take advantage.  Balance is necessary.

At any rate, I decided several weeks back that I needed to practice being happy for others and giving from my heart based on what felt good, instead of on what others have done for me in the past. To give for love, instead of to give to get something back. 

Am I really good at it yet?  Maybe not, it's a change, and my protective mechanisms try to kick in sometimes.  But I'm working on it.  And those moments of giving love just to give it end up making me feel better than I did before anyway...so who is this really benefiting?  I think it might be contributing more to my own well-being than that of the receivers of the love!  Worth the effort?  Definitely.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Year to Best: Progress?

Being a couple of months into this process, I am looking back to see how effective I feel I am being.  In short, I feel amazing.  This process of taking a year to be the best ME I can be is not something I am strictly measuring.  I am not creating a daily requirement for myself.  But I am keeping this constant aim for health on all levels in my mind and heart as I live each day.  It creates a subtle shift in perception, but that leads to small changes in action, which leads to big changes in emotions and well-being.

In terms of my physical health, the combination of proactively addressing health concerns by getting a full physical and talking with my doctor (and even choosing a primary care doc), deciding to move ahead with Invisalign, working out often, eating better, more yoga and reflexology - it has all added up to my body feeling the healthiest I've possibly ever felt.  A positive body perception has also been really important - remembering it's NOT about being skinny, it's about being healthy.  I feel healthy.

My emotional and mental health have been far improved as well.  I am really able to enjoy people more. I have accepted some of my own personal needs in relationships and am able to send love to people who fill those needs without feeling a gaping hole of need for them to return it.  It feels nice.  And perhaps not so strangely, I am forming stronger relationships now. While I still love to plan fun things, I am more able to enjoy the moment.  Meditation, journaling, and opening myself to new spiritual paths has done me a world of amazing good, and I feel different inside for simply being open with myself. 

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "People only see what they are prepared to see."  By preparing myself to see love, light, and beauty, I feel I am seeing them more each day.  For me, it's great progress, and I am thrilled to see how the rest of the year goes.  At this rate, I will be on Cloud 9 as I turn 30.

 

Friday, August 24, 2012

Year to Best: Act #20 - Reflexology

Most of my friends know I am routinely on the hunt for more holistic health care options that are effective and affordable.  Some things simply can't be taken care of well using only holistic practices - for example, my allergies. I tried just about everything before I realized I just need the nasal sprays from my allergist, period.

However, there are tons of things I CAN do that are wholesome - and most of these things address the overall health of my body instead of just helping cure a symptom.  When my body is naturally stronger, it can do its work correctly and efficiently, leading to less sickness, more enjoyment of life, etc.

I routinely get massage - yes, it's relaxing and helps me maintain a calm mind, but it also helps my lymphatic system move white cells through my body and get rid of the "bad" things the lymphatic system picks up to protect me from.  Massage keeps my immune system stronger and is so very worth my small investment.

Today, I tried reflexology for the first time.  Reflexology is known for generally helping the body's systems flow better and helping the organs, circulatory, and nervous systems function at their best levels. I told the therapist little to nothing about myself (just that I had no pain in my feet or physical concerns she needed to worry about).  The session was a simple half hour with some relaxing music, while she massaged and applied pressure to certain points on my feet and ankles. After the session, she was able to tell me (just from pressure on my feet!) exactly what she felt my concerns would be - respiratory function being lower than normal (my allergies), holding tension in my upper back and shoulders, not drinking enough water, and needing to adjust my nutrition at times so my digestive system operates at its best (I have just been traveling so my diet was off).  It was pretty amazing.  She gave me a few good tips and sent me on my way.  I generally feel good, but am eager to see how I feel tonight and tomorrow - to see if I feel my body is functioning any better.

Overall, a good experience - I'll try it again.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Year to Best: Act #19 - Journaling

As part of my journey to unlock my creativity AND be more introspective (thus leading to more personal power), I began journaling again this week.  In the past, I wrote a lot.  I blogged, I journaled, I doodled, I wrote letters and notes and essays.  I don't necessarily feel less expressive now, but that could be an illusion.

So, I picked up a journal at Barnes & Noble and started to simply write.  I am torn between keeping the journal or writing and burning.  Writing and burning is sort of beautiful because you write your heart out and realize that no one (not even yourself) will ever judge or even read what you wrote - because you burn it.  It's purification, with energy.  

To be fair, I may do some of both.  I am only two days in, so we'll see how it helps me be more well overall with time.

 

Monday, July 30, 2012

Year to Best: Act #18 - Expanding My Mind

This is a touchy subject - people's beliefs.  I don't want to receive hate mail for posting this, as it's my blog about my personal journey.  I considered not posting at all, but I've reached a point where I simply want to be myself and express myself without being afraid of offending someone.  So, please, let me be me - no hate mail.

I've known for quite some time that I feel personally weakest at times in a couple of areas.  The fact was made concrete for me when I visited an intuitive healer and artist at an event two weeks ago, and she was immediately able to tune into me and tell me those two areas - creativity and spirituality.  How does one address these two areas of weakness?

Spirituality: I grew up in an area (geographically) of basically one belief and one belief only.  It's stunting, to say the least, to never be exposed to the rich belief systems that exist around the world; to be told there is only one correct way for every human to believe and live (which seems like garbage to me).  I was lucky enough to open up my brain in college to study belief systems in general.  What I found was that (A) most are far more similar than most people realize, and (B) I could admire and respect most all of them; they all involved good qualities, meaningful traditions, and wonderful people.  During my years since college, I have not been able to pinpoint a belief system that really resonates with me - and I looked into quite a few. What feels right to me is simple - nature, energy, and intention.  I think those three elements can create and manifest most anything.  I believe it's perfectly acceptable to gain insight and inspiration from belief systems and people across the globe; not to put oneself in a spiritual corner.  

Long story short, after a couple of events at The Inner Space (a local metaphysical shop and center for classes/learning), I am finding other people who feel as I do, and finding classes to explore these particular thoughts and ideas.  It's invigorating, to say the least.  I took an initial class, and it opened countless other doors that I want to walk through (mentally) - more to come!

Creativity: This is a tough one.  I've been told multiple times that I have a great deal of creative energy, but I simply never feel like it's true.  It's a source of frustration for me; I often feel like there's some sort of well of energy in me that I can't tap into, like it's behind a wall.  I felt creative as a child and teen - and even a young adult - what happened?  When did I switch it off?  I am still exploring it, but I did receive some advice on how to work toward unlocking those parts of me - this will be part of my journey of this year of wellness, too.

 

Year to Best: Act #17 - Conquer a Fear

By "conquer a fear", I don't mean something debilitating like a fear of failure or desertion.  I mean (don't laugh) - my fear of spin classes.

So, it's not really a FEAR, more like an extreme avoidance because my only memory of spin from college was terrible and painful and exhausting.

I've recently reached a bit of a plateau in some of my cardio classes, so I knew I needed to step it up.  Spin/cycle seemed an obvious choice, because they have classes every day and it's known to be a tough cardio workout.  I decided to suck it up and go for it.  My first class was pretty weak, but after about 20 minutes, the burning "we-hate-you" feelings in my legs subsided and I made it through the class OK.  After two more classes, I began feeling stronger and was able to push my resistance up to an intermediate level.  Sure, your rear may be a little sore after class, but the consistently elevated heart rate and calorie burn (for those looking to lose weight) are definitely worth it.  While it's not as entertaining as Zumba, it's a solid class added into my weekly rotation, and I'm glad I got over my mental block with it - it will add to my overall wellness.


 

Year to Best: Act #16 - Practice Gratitude

Because I tend to typically try to create results for myself in every realm of life, I sometimes forget to stop and be grateful.  For example, I work hard to stay healthy, so I feel like I'm controlling it.  That means I forget to be grateful that I am even ABLE to keep myself healthy.  I manage our household finances every day, so I forget to stop and be grateful that we have an income stream to begin with.

So lately, I've made an effort to practice gratitude, both within myself (during meditation or just in daily thoughts) and externally (letting people know I appreciate them in my life, etc.)

Gratitude is one area in which I have a long way to go - while I know I AM grateful for much in my life, I forget to think on it purposefully.  I am working on it! 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Year to Best: Act #15 - Ace a Class

Now that I'm committed to making this year an A+ experience, I need to keep making A+'s in my MBA courses.  While I love certain aspects of my job (my office family and environment are fantastic, love my benefits, etc.), I know I won't be doing this forever, and I need to keep growing to better my career.  I started (slowly) my MBA in Human Resource Management last year and just aced a Marketing Management course.  In fact, due to my work experience, the school allowed my to do a Challenge Examination - 100 questions to pass the whole course.  Made an A on that, thus an A in the course. Sweet.

On to Human Relations class...and one day, a much bigger salary!  :)



Year to Best: Act #14 - Invisalign Fun

To further my wellness this year, I knew I needed to bite the (financial) bullet and spring for new braces/Invisalign.  I had them when I was a pre-teen or teen, but my teeth have shifted slightly over the years.  I now understand the full value of retainers.  Sheesh.

While braces do not come cheap, I can't help feeling they're worth it.  A comfortable, confident smile can make all the difference on the outside, because it's connected to how you feel on the inside.  Besides that, uneven teeth/bite can affect you in many ways over the years, and I'd like to have it all straight, lovely and comfortable by the time I'm turning 30.

So, I went today for my "work-up", which included lots of x-rays, photos with my lips pulled back in unnatural positions, and gross goopy impressions (4 of them). It wasn't bad, and I'm glad to be making headway.

Clinical plan will be next - then beginning of the trays. Fun times!



Monday, July 9, 2012

Year to Best: Act #13 - Hot, Hot Yoga

I enjoy yoga.  I enjoy yoga MOST at a real yoga studio (i.e. not LA Fitness or another health club), as the classes tend to be much more effective and authentic in a regular studio.  I began hearing about hot yoga and its many health benefits, so although it sounded horrible, I decided to give it a whirl.

Hot yoga is basically yoga in a room heated to around 104 degrees.  It's HOT.  It's sweaty.  You have to go hydrated, but without a full stomach (the heat might make you want to hurl).  Most people are wearing very skimpy clothes...because...well, it's hot.  I don't blame them and wore tiny clothes as well.  

The yoga class was 90 minutes, with about 20 minutes warm-up, 20 minutes standing/balance poses, 20 minutes sitting/stretching poses, and the other half hour restorative, strength, breathing, meditation, etc.  It was mega sweaty.  I was dripping sweat, and I am not a very sweaty person.  I was completely soaked...clothes, hair, everything.  It was hard to hold some poses because my skin was so slippery, and I had to use my towel a lot.  Next time, I am skipping the small face towel and taking a beach towel.  It's good to put it on the mat to catch drips and keep you from slipping.

I left the class feeling pretty loose and calm.  As far as the health benefits...

Hot Yoga claims...
1. THE CLAIM: "Increase Vitality: If you want to gain more spring in your step and recover the “vim and vigor” of youth, the Bikram series practiced in a heated room is a great form of yoga. It has the potential to reverse the elements of aging, giving you the ability to take much deeper breaths to navigate your way through a hectic modern world or simply run up a flight of stairs! Keep up with a consistent practice and you’re guaranteed to look and feel younger."  
MY EXPERIENCE: not sure yet - I've only gone once.  I didn't notice truly deeper breathing, but I breathe pretty deeply during yoga most of the time.

2. THE CLAIM: "Weight Loss: Practicing Bikram in a heated room creates a much safer approach to your yoga practice as it allows you to stretch quicker and deeper. This is turn leads to stronger flexibility in the muscles which burns fat. As every fitness trainer knows, building muscle burns fat — doing the Bikram sequence in a hot room jump-starts this process. Additionally, one of the overall effects of Bikram yoga is a general improvement in diet as the body craves healthier food. As the practice itself sharpens our perception of the mind-body connection, so does our overall awareness of what the body needs, reinvigorating the body’s natural processes to long for healthier food."
MY EXPERIENCE:  I was able to stretch deeper and longer since my muscles were so heated.  And they do focus on being strong and stable, but isn't that the case with most yoga?

3. THE CLAIM: "Detoxification: The massive elimination of toxins from the body occurs during hot yoga, primarily thru sweat. It’s possible to drop up to 10 pounds of sweat (which includes oil, salts and water) during a class. As water rushes out during the course of a 90 minute class, this creates immense benefits such as super clean skin and the detoxification of pores in the body’s largest organ — the skin."
MY EXPERIENCE: I was definitely sweating, and if that was cleaning my body out, good for me!

4. THE CLAIM: "Increased Mental Clarity:  As the body is cleansed, the mind is sharpened. Regular Bikram practice leads to  improved mental clarity, clearing out the “fuzz in brain” caused by the modern world’s list of negative stimuli — traffic, stress, bad food, pollution, etc. In addition, poses with significant time spent in forward bends sends blood rushing to the head, which is a fantastic way to “clear out the mental cobwebs.”
MY EXPERIENCE: Need to practice more to really know, but most yoga helps with mental clarity, I think.

5. THE CLAIM: "Reduced Stress: Perhaps one of the most significant Bikram yoga benefits is the increased connectivity with the body, gained from regular practice. The intense focus in the sequence causes the chatter of the mind to decrease, leaving one less mentally preoccupied, both in and out of the class. Also, with consistent practice, the muscle memory of taking deeper breaths carries over into daily life, automatically providing instant relief to the temporary stressors that plague our modern world."
MY EXPERIENCE: Need to practice more to know, but this is about the same as #4, for me.  Mental clarity helps with less stress.  Also, regular yoga helps with this.

Overall, I'd say my hot yoga experience was intriguing, but I am just not sure how much more beneficial it is than regular yoga.  Sure, it's a bit like taking care of a sauna session and yoga in one, so if you're in it for being efficient, that makes sense.  I am going to give it a few more tries, but I'm still up in the air on how this might contribute to my wellness overall.

 

Year to Best: Act #12 - Girl Time

My husband is excellent to spend time with.  However, sometimes women just need to get together with other women.  To talk about stuff.  Women stuff.  That could mean anything from serious health issues to TomKat's divorce.

So, I made sure to give myself some lady time last week over a nice dinner, and it was 100% worth the drive and valet parking (which sometimes annoy me, proof that I'm getting old!).  I was also able to spend a day with my youngest sister having brunch, shopping, and cooking...and having a gal pal over to eat with us, too.

Girl time = good for you.

Year to Best: Act #11 - Eyeballs

In my year-long quest to be the healthiest I've ever been, I decided it was time for an eye exam.  The doctor says it had been 4 years since my last exam, I am fairly certain it was 2, but who's counting?  I really need to keep better track of these things!  I have been very lucky with my eyes, they've always been healthy and I have great eyesight.  I have a TINY (and I do mean tiny) prescription for night driving, movies, other things that involve darkness so I can see clearer/crisper images. However, I never wore my glasses.  Not being used to them, the rims are in my field of vision and give me a headache, so they basically went into a drawer.

Of course, that's not very healthy, and could cause additional strain on my eyes, so I used my solid vision benefits to get an exam and order another pair of glasses, ones with no bottom rim and a tiny upper rim, which will hopefully mean less headaches.  

So, here's to healthy eyes, and hoping my new glasses are a bit more helpful...

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Year to Best: Act #10 - Sandpapering my Face

Since Spa Nordstrom screwed up my original appointment for a massage/exfoliation, they comped my services and I was able to get a facial with my gift card.  I am very lucky to not have any real skin issues.  I have some small sun spots from past sun damage, and the spa director recommended microdermabrasion for helping with those.  I went for it. 

It's admittedly uncomfortable...like someone is taking a small wand with sandpaper on the end and scrubbing your face with it.  Since it makes the skin a bit raw, it feels like being sunburned.  That went on for about 20 minutes, then she applied a cleansing scrub and a cold milky mask to soothe and replenish the skin.  I learned that while the process removes the top layer of skin (especially the dead stuff) and helps to unclog pores, it also stimulates the skin to produce more collagen.  The benefits aren't immediate, so I am waiting to see if I see skin improvement.

After the process, I felt sunburned for several hours.  The next morning, my face felt normal, but I have a few dry spots on my face where she concentrated the wand.  I have to stay out of the sun for a few days, moisturize a lot, and not wear makeup if I can help it.

So, results TBD...but I was glad to go for something new and unusual that may be good for me.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Year to Best: Act #9 - Balls!

I crack myself up!

By balls, I mean balance balls.  I am sitting on one right now.  At my desk, at work.  It's a bit sore and not easy to hold your core upright for extended periods of time, honestly.

I sort of want to invest in a balance ball chair for my desk...it's the small changes to your everyday routine that can make a long-term difference, right?

 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Year to Best: Act #8 - Consider Friendship

To be emotionally well requires a certain level of safety net, friends, loved ones, etc.  Those closest to me know that I haven't felt fulfilled in the friendship department for a while.  I had some bad experiences, yes.  But overall, I am not completely sure how I got to this point. 

I recently read a book about another woman's search for close friends as an adult, and it helped me see clearly some of the challenges with adult women friendships.  I am surrounded by female acquaintances, and some of them are utterly wonderful women.  And yet, we (mostly) never get past the acquaintance/social pal level.  

There are some obvious things needed to establish a friendship - having things in common to discuss, feeling cared for/being kind, being able to LAUGH, being honest, being yourself, not being easily offended (you have to be able to tell a friend if her outfit's bad, come on!).  But besides all of that, now I think I have a better understanding of other factors that really affect how a friendship can grow or not grow...

1. Distance
While some terrific women live in this city, some of them live in another part of town where I just don't visit often.  I can, sure.  And I'm willing to.  But for an every-day friendship to develop, you really need to live close to someone.  In Atlanta, that's certainly a challenge, since we're so spread out.  But someone who is nearby can drop in for a snack or a TV show, grab a drink or a pedicure, or drop off a book you want to borrow without it being a hassle.  Unfortunately, I don't know many people I could consider "in my neighborhood".  

2. Space
By this, I mean emotional space.  Some of the ladies in my life are so terrific, I have slight girl (friend) crushes on them.  But...their lives are simply full.  That's not a bad thing for them at all!  In fact, it's wonderful.  They have partners, children, family members they are close to, hobbies they devote time to, and other sets of best friends around them.  While we may really like each other, there's simply not space for me in their everyday emotional spectrum.  Even though we enjoy chatting, they don't NEED a close friend, so that never develops.  Understandable, but a bummer, sure.

3. Mutuality
Is that a word?  A friendship needs to go both ways. I have always been the planner, the instigator.  I don't mind it, in fact, I usually enjoy it...until it becomes clear that it's a one-sided friendship.  It simply doesn't feel good to put the emotion and time into a friendship if the other person isn't doing the same.  Some of my friend crushes in the past have seemed so promising...until it just seemed that I was going the extra mile and they weren't, or that I liked them way more than they liked me.  Feeling friend-dumped stinks.

4. Time
This is related to space...but according to some research, it takes seeing someone twice a month for several months to develop a sort of bond with them.  I'd agree with that...maybe even a little more often?  Unfortunately, while some of us want to develop new friendships, we simply don't have that much time to give.  I do, but often, others don't.  Everyone has a busy week or month...but in general, to sustain a solid relationship, you've got to give it a significant amount of exposure and time to grow with.

5. Vulnerability.
While this should be a given, it's not discussed much.  To develop a strong bond with someone, both parties need to be comfortable showing their weaknesses, being vulnerable, truthful...I feel like I have no problem showing where I'm vulnerable, but on the flip side, some of my acquaintances seem to think I'm always pretty strong.  I wonder why?  Am I truthfully just strong?  Or do I not show my weaknesses?  I also know women who are constantly competing with each other, or trying to one-up someone, or bring them down a bit.  That's a way to destroy a friendship, not grow it.

At any rate, I do realize that I have to be realistic (goes back to my expectations post).  I can't expect all of these things from many women.  I need to accept that it's perfectly OK to reach a solid acquaintance level with someone, and for our relationship to never grow beyond that.  If I meet someone who lines up with myself in the areas above, I think I'll feel the chemistry, right?  A good balance of intent/action and letting things grow naturally is probably in order.  Instead of lamenting that this is one area I feel like a bit of a loser in, I can try to appreciate what I do have, and hope the universe will allow some natural growth and improvement over time.

In the book I just read, I love the author's point that a true, everyday friend isn't necessarily the person you call when you have a mental breakdown or a fight with your partner...a true, everyday friend is the person you call to ask "Why do I have 4 jars of pickles in my fridge?"

It's the little stuff that counts.  It's the PEOPLE who care about the little stuff that count.  And really, that's what I want...those people.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Year to Best: Act #7 - Eat In

One of my weaknesses (in the past) has been fast food...there were times when a McDonald's burger or some KFC just sounded so GOOD.  And it was simple, so I ate it.  Pretty often.  I never really got fat, I guess, but those meals, yummy as they were, never made me feel great.

It does take a long time to break a habit - I've read more than once that the science of the brain reveals that it takes doing something for a full month to make it a habit (and vice versa, takes NOT doing something for a month to BREAK a habit).  Over the past couple of years, I've been cooking more and more.  I've actually developed some recipes.  From my brain!

And now, I'm finally to a place where I usually prefer to come home and cook than to grab fast food.  There will always be times when I have to pop through a drive-thru, and some moments when I'll probably crave it and grab it.  But my general habit has shifted to buying lots of groceries and cooking at home.  That's a plus!  My cooking tends to be simple and clean - not a lot of ingredients, but fairly natural and wholesome ones.  (Except for the rare occasion when I just want fish sticks.  Don't judge!) 

This is one habit I am proud of, and I feel better due to its effects.  Eating out less saves us money, and makes us really enjoy those outings when we go for them - plus, the money saved on fast food means we can splurge on better meals when we do go out.  Score.

Year to Best: Act #6 - Clean the Pores

I've had this great Spa Sydell gift certificate since Christmas that I thought I'd save for a special occasion, but I recently read (in "The Happiness Project") a great reminder that it's important to "spend out".  Instead of hoarding things like that, spend them, get some joy from them. It resonated with me, so I made an appointment for a random Saturday to get a facial.  It was a simple facial, cleanse/exfoliate/pore cleaning/toning/moisture, but it was relaxing to go into a calm space on a Saturday afternoon to treat myself.  I came out feeling clean and at peace, and didn't miss sitting on that gift certificate at all - it felt good to spend it.  A good way to feel well.

Year to Best: Act #5 - Get Ripped

By "get ripped", I mean feel like someone is actually trying to rip my legs off from the hip.

I decided to go extra-hard at my Saturday morning Body Works class.  This class is great, because it combines an hour of moving (read: cardio) with weight lifting and conditioning your whole body.  I really like it.  But the Saturday morning instructor is a beast.  I began the class trying REALLY hard, and by 15 minutes into the hour, my lower body was trembling like a leaf, making it tough to do the other exercises.  I pushed through (with plenty of pauses), but have been mega sore for the two days following the workout.  Not pleasantly tight, but SORE.  

Wes keeps telling me "no pain, no gain" and then poking me in my rear to see me yell.  Oh, husband.

I know it's a good thing to be sore and know your workout was effective at changing your body, but if it puts me out of commission for a couple of days and I can't do my other workouts, is that effective?  Hmmm....

Year to Best: Act #4 - Take a Day Off!

There's not much to say about this act of wellness...sometimes I just need to realize I have plenty of paid time off from work, and that I need to take a day off to relax.  Catch up.  Be calm.

I took a day off on Friday.  It was lovely.  That's all.

Year to Best: Act #3 - Do Something Fun

I've been sort of a hermit lately.  I can't decide if it's bad or good for me.  I've never been a homebody.  I like to do things, experience things, see things.  But lately, when given the option, I seem to always decide to stick around home, read, watch a movie.  It satisfies me, but I am not sure it makes me feel whole and excited about life.  I mean, I skipped the Renaissance Festival this year, even when I had plenty of chances to go.  Those who know me will realize this is almost alarming!  Am I depressed?  What's happening?!

So, we decided to get out, and did a weekend evening at Park Tavern for some food/drinks/live band.  It's a cover band we've seen and enjoyed before.  We got there early, ate, had drinks, met a friend...but the place was utterly jam packed and we couldn't see the band by halfway through.  It wasn't a BAD night, but it wasn't a great success, either. Good weather, we had a table to relax at, food was fine.  It just wasn't exhilarating.  While it was good to be out and about, maybe trying NEW things is where I need to focus...?

Oh, well.  I expect some of my efforts this year won't pan out perfectly...can't win 'em all, right?

Year to Best: Act #2 - Doctor, Doctor

Most of my friends and family members know that I am fairly terrified of doctors and dentists.  I don't know where the fear came from - I haven't had any horrendous experiences that I can recall.  I do have a bit of a needle phobia (not a fear of the pain, but the thought of something piercing skin makes me feel completely sick), and I don't like being poked and prodded.  I especially don't like dentists reaching into my mouth.  I know, it's strange for a 29-year-old, but it feels like an invasion of my personal space/body.  

So, I tend to avoid doctors.  I do my yearly exam, but that's it...typically, not even a full physical.  Clearly, it would be smart to start a year of wellness being aware of my body, health, and any issues that need to be addressed, so I made an appointment with a new Primary Care doctor (recommended by a friend for her attentive manner).  I had a few concerns to address with the doctor, but nothing life-threatening.  I knew I'd have to get bloodwork done, so I took Wes along to steel me for the dreaded needles.  I basically said yes to every test the doctor suggested, so I could get it done in one visit.  It wasn't fun, but I did leave feeling more confident in my overall health.  Labs come back within two weeks, so we'll see how those stack up.  In the meantime, it was an achievement for me to go and get the total physical out of the way.  High five!

Year to Best: Act #1 - Expectations

In the past, I've had a small problem managing expectations.  I have quite high expectations for myself, so I tend to expect a lot (read: too much) of other people.  That can lead to definite disappointments.  I still struggle with it, and there are still times I think people need to hold themselves to a certain standard of personal responsibility or common courtesies.

However, I began my year of wellness by realizing I shouldn't expect anything around birthday time.  There have been years I expected (even though I told myself I didn't!) some level of attention, love, or creativity from friends, and that usually turned out badly.  Yuck.  I know, it sounds ridiculous, and it may be silly.

So this year, I decided that it was truly enough to just relax, read my book, watch some TV, have a nap, and enjoy my day.  And...it worked!  I loved my birthday, it felt cozy and just...nice.  

And as it turned out, I had plenty of birthday love, from friends who took me to the movies and got me some great gifts, my family who cooked me a terrific meal and had some other great gifts, and my husband who got me a delicious cake and had actually wanted to plan a trip or concert outing, until I decided to make it a calm one.  The better part was that I was more able to see the birthday love clearly and feel good about it, as I wasn't blocking anything with expectations or preconceived ideas.

So, good success on my first act of wellness, I think...this will be one to keep managing.  There's a certain level of behavior one wants to expect, but is that right?  I am still debating within myself...

The beginning...

I just turned 29.  

Luckily, turning 29 didn't really bother me - in fact, it was pleasant.  Lots of people mentioned that "30 is really the big one", and that didn't really bother me, either.

It seems to me that the cliche that "your 30's are the new 20's" is actually quite true.  I feel like my 30's are going to be fantastic - we're more financially secure, I am more comfortable in my own skin, we're more settled overall, but also more open to new opportunities...what's not to love about my 30's?

Maybe more cellulite, or slower metabolism?  Maybe. Or maybe getting into a rut because we're more steady/routine?  Yeah, maybe that, too.

So while I pondered having one year until I turn 30, I decided that this year is a terrific time to be the healthiest I've ever been.  I am not into body building.  I don't really want to lose weight, my weight is good.  I won't ever stop eating cookies entirely.  I just want to feel great, and to be healthy from the inside out.  I want to begin my 30's in the best way possible.  

Wellness, for me, is many-pronged.  It involves:
Physical fitness
Emotional well-being
Mental stimulation
Nutrition
Relational well-being

So while I'm not creating a strict everyday routine for myself for the next year, I am going to be focusing on things that make me WELL.  I am going to make an effort to chronicle my journey of wellness here, more for myself than anything, but if others read along and benefit somehow, that's absolutely OK.

Here's to a year of wellness...